Perry L. Gardner: Private Journal #13
Thursday, 2 AM, July 21, 1988
I just woke up from the most intense dream I’ve had in ages, and just this afternoon, Ellen told me about a dream she had this afternoon. What is going on here?
And then at 2 AM, voices outside my window—who? Staff solving a problem, or students with tomorrow’s programs? In either case, pressure—and then the question, Is this the program design? A pressure cooker cooks faster with the lid on. We only have a week, so we need to accelerate the normal process, and there is a purpose in the pressure. Without the pressure, there would be less revelation, and the product would come out only half done.
My dream was about a journey ? with Bonnie, and we stopped to visit Barbara and she was in a very snobbish place, and I felt ignored because she was so busy with her snobby friends and life style. Also I remember saying, “My God, you look like your mother.” And there was a long time I was left alone while she was wrapping gifts to give to me, which appeared to be the only way she saw of relating. While alone, I wandered about the mansion, and in one room was Pat, with whom I started to talk, and then Barbara and the kids finally showed up, and in the midst of this, Bonnie, who had been left waiting outside, walked in and fainted, and I went to see that she was OK, and then I woke up.
Also, along the way, I had laid down some gifts I was carrying that I was reluctant to leave at Barbara’s house, and I noticed a tag on a wrapped package “to P.J. or whomever”.
Now all this is very complicated, because Receiving was our credo topic today (which I had felt non-productive on), but if the word/topic had been Gifts, it would have been more in line with what actually happened in credo group. This is not surface stuff.
Is this Jo-Ham’s Window? Is this what credo is about? Is this part of the Unilead design? The whole is more than the sum of the parts.
This is the first time in many years that I have been able to capture the essence of my dreams, and I do not have the most fascinating dreams well worth putting in a bottle.
It feels like I am stupid, because my brain works slowly, but it also feels like it gets there eventually—a mild grinding, exceedingly fine. That must be my INTJ at work. I remember my Army General Classifications score, the only I.Q. test I ever took. I barely got high enough to get into Officer Cadets—125, I think—but I bet every thing I answered was correct. That is why I got such a low score: I didn’t know how to do the test. Answer all the questions without the double-check and I might be in Mensa. I did get the highest score on record at Lowry field on the Air Force test.